The Evolution Of Me

For the past nine years I was always the person who would put others need before hers. Please everyone around her so they’ll like her, basically I was Monica Giller but not in a compulsive way. Even though a lot of people liked me because of it, I always wondered; Do they like me for me, or for what I do for them? And if I were not to do what I do, will they still like me? Or they’ll run off like a flock? I always wondered. Apparently my character was lovable to most of my friends, they was I get crazy sometimes and the fact is that I am an outspoken person, they know almost everything about me, my family, my goals, even my imperfections. I liked that because I knew that even when they’ve known them, they still became friends with me. Unfortunately I was too naive to see what was I really doing, what hurt my the most is that everyone knew but me, and they didn’t say a word of caution to me. Expect one, one person who turned my life upside down, and enlighten me we the bitterness of what’s known as the truth. November 28, 2014, I got what felt like a wake up call. I was told that I’m the kind of person who’s not easily sadden, a pleaser – which is true -, too shy, and a person that trusts too easily that she can tell any stranger ever single detail about her life. Here at the very last sentence is where that wake up call siren had turned on. Easily trust? Really? Is it true? If so, how come no one warned me? Ask me to stop and watch my action, to help learn that trust should be earned. Isn’t that what friends are for?. Few days later I was on the phone with a friend who’s now is like a third sister to me. She heard what the others thought of me that night, and she told me what felt like a bitter medicine passing through my throat. She said: “They had no right to say it the way they did, however, it is true that you’re too trusty. You also say too much, when someone you just met sits next you they know each and every single tiny detail and then walks off with knowledge that this person can use against you without you even know it”.  I almost teared that day, knowing that I was a danger to my own self. “Listen, you need to be careful, keep in your mind that A) trust should be earned and not given. And B) Not everything should be told. Somethings are best to be kept hidden” said she. So I did, since that day I decided to evolve myself, not just for what my friend has told me but in other ways too. I was talking to my friend how sometimes I wish I could easily speak up, say whats on my mind without being afraid of the reaction, she said to me: “You can, if you believe that you should say what’s on your mind, just say it. Because if you did, then everyone will know that no matter what they say, you’ll not allow that, and only then they’ll be stopped”. And she was right, though it took me a while to believe that I was able to change, to evolve, but on April 12, 2015, I stood up and it felt great. I felt that my voice was heard, I felt that no one will think I’m the shy person anymore. I have evolved, I have changed myself into a better me, I’ve become someone who now can face anything that she doesn’t like, stands up for what she believes in. Someone with greater confident. What made me so sure that I have change is that people themselves started to notice; some didn’t like it, thinking that I have become someone different and in a non-good way. Well, I don’t care, because this change is for ME, this change is going to make me a better person and it did. And others liked it, once someone told you have changed and it’s obvious that you someone developed yourself. I jumped out of joy, it proved to me that all that time of self-suffering has paid off. That the weeks of battle with my old me has ended with victory of the new me. In the end, I would like to thank God for sending a special friend who have helped me in this journey, walked beside, and listened to me, and guided me through it. And to everyone who’s been trying to evolve to a better person, I can tell you that you can and you will change.  With high faith in God, strong determination, a friend on your side, you will reach to your goal with ease.

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One thought on “The Evolution Of Me

  1. “if there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm” – african proverb. The challenges you faced are not easy to handle, and i am very very proud of you!

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